My Journey of Gratitude - Day 28

Some days I just have to laugh at what a slow learner I can be.  Today is one of those days!  I began my usual process of stepping into gratitude, especially giving thanks for these past 30 days, which are quickly coming to an end. 

As I was expressing my gratitude for an experience yesterday that I would preferred to not have had, I realized that being in a state of gratitude does not keep me from feeling old worries and fears, nor does it protect me from the challenges in life.  I find that I still worry and fret over what isn't going well in my life and at times old beliefs still pop up and get in my way.  It's part of the human experience I suppose; just not the most pleasant part.

The state of gratitude does not guarantee me sunshine and rainbows every day. 
What it does do is give me an essential tool to quickly shift my perspective and my experience.

Remember that gratitude is also a choice. I can take the time, even in the midst of anger or worry, to choose to feel gratitude for something.  I may not enter the state of gratitude, but I can certainly shift my mood with the feeling of gratitude.  To say to myself "I choose this instead of that."

With that understanding came an image of how I've been practicing gratitude up to this point.  Practicing it--not being it.  It is a journey after all, not a destination, so learning wisdom along the way is a good thing.

The image I saw was of me carrying a huge, heavy rock.  This rock was so big that it blocked my view of where I was heading.  I had to crane my neck to see around it, but right in front of me--just a big ole piece of impenetrable rock. 

Now the interesting thing is that I've carried this 2 ton piece of earth with me for so long that it became part of me--who knew! 

I saw that during this journey of stepping into gratitude, I would unconsciously put the rock down, step into gratitude and have my beautiful experience--and then pick up that darn rock again and continue on my not-so-merry way.  No wonder I often feel exhausted and can't always 'see' where I'm headed!

Because change is a choice, gratitude is a choice--I made a choice to let go of the rock and try something new.  I didn't need nor did I want that rock any longer, and I no longer wanted my journey of gratitude to be separate from who I am, what I do and where I'm headed. 

At first the rock turned into a pile of gifts--gifts that I can offer to others, but they were still heavy and still blocked my vision.  Not yet matching my vision.

So I sat there as gratitude came to me--that was a new experience.  Gratitude stepping into me rather than vice versa.  As I allowed myself to be bathed in and invigorated by this state of gratitude, the gifts disappeared completely and there was only me standing there with no obstacles to block my vision.

Me. My knowledge, skills, talents and personality are the gifts I bring to my life and to my clients.  Who I am-exactly as I am--is the gift I bring.

Who you are, exactly as you are-that is the gift you bring to the world.

And that knowing my friends is worth this entire journey!  For this I am most grateful.

What are your stories, your questions, your opinions?  I am grateful for you in my life and would love to hear from you.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

What is Your 'I Am'

Bonnie and I are active in several Yahoo groups, including the Gratitude yahoo group.* In our Yahoo groups we often offer challenges for a better life and one of them is the monthly I Am challenge. It means, what is the aspect of your life that you want to emphasize most during each month? What aspect of your behavior do you want to support and expand?

For the month of November:

My I Am is clearly Gratitude - and it is a part of my entire psyche that I want to keep next to my heart and embrace for all the years I have left in this particular existence.

I am so grateful for the family I had, and for the family I have - my friends - the ones who are new and wonderful and the ones who have had my back for a major part of my lifetime.

I am grateful to be here on the planet as there we some 'iffy' moments that made that questionable - major illnesses, a sky-diving accident, moments in time that I gratefully transitioned through to stay here.

I am grateful for the joyful 'work' I get to do, helping others find the meaning and purpose in their lives, which they already know, and just need to uncover, My first area of study was cultural anthropology and it helps me remember that communities create together and we all make life choices within what we know from others but also from our deepest spirit.

So what is your I Am this month - what part of who you are will you acknowledge and love this month in particular?

Love and blessings, Katie

*contact Bonnie to join the Gratitude Yahoo Group