Some days I just have to laugh at what a slow learner I can be. Today is one of those days! I began my usual process of stepping into gratitude, especially giving thanks for these past 30 days, which are quickly coming to an end.
As I was expressing my gratitude for an experience yesterday that I would preferred to not have had, I realized that being in a state of gratitude does not keep me from feeling old worries and fears, nor does it protect me from the challenges in life. I find that I still worry and fret over what isn't going well in my life and at times old beliefs still pop up and get in my way. It's part of the human experience I suppose; just not the most pleasant part.
The state of gratitude does not guarantee me sunshine and rainbows every day.
What it does do is give me an essential tool to quickly shift my perspective and my experience.
Remember that gratitude is also a choice. I can take the time, even in the midst of anger or worry, to choose to feel gratitude for something. I may not enter the state of gratitude, but I can certainly shift my mood with the feeling of gratitude. To say to myself "I choose this instead of that."
With that understanding came an image of how I've been practicing gratitude up to this point. Practicing it--not being it. It is a journey after all, not a destination, so learning wisdom along the way is a good thing.
The image I saw was of me carrying a huge, heavy rock. This rock was so big that it blocked my view of where I was heading. I had to crane my neck to see around it, but right in front of me--just a big ole piece of impenetrable rock.
Now the interesting thing is that I've carried this 2 ton piece of earth with me for so long that it became part of me--who knew!
I saw that during this journey of stepping into gratitude, I would unconsciously put the rock down, step into gratitude and have my beautiful experience--and then pick up that darn rock again and continue on my not-so-merry way. No wonder I often feel exhausted and can't always 'see' where I'm headed!
Because change is a choice, gratitude is a choice--I made a choice to let go of the rock and try something new. I didn't need nor did I want that rock any longer, and I no longer wanted my journey of gratitude to be separate from who I am, what I do and where I'm headed.
At first the rock turned into a pile of gifts--gifts that I can offer to others, but they were still heavy and still blocked my vision. Not yet matching my vision.
So I sat there as gratitude came to me--that was a new experience. Gratitude stepping into me rather than vice versa. As I allowed myself to be bathed in and invigorated by this state of gratitude, the gifts disappeared completely and there was only me standing there with no obstacles to block my vision.
Me. My knowledge, skills, talents and personality are the gifts I bring to my life and to my clients. Who I am-exactly as I am--is the gift I bring.
Who you are, exactly as you are-that is the gift you bring to the world.
And that knowing my friends is worth this entire journey! For this I am most grateful.
What are your stories, your questions, your opinions? I am grateful for you in my life and would love to hear from you.
In gratitude,
Bonnie
Showing posts with label achieving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label achieving. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
My Journey of Gratitude - Day 20
The joy of gratitude! Yesterday I experienced my body taking over and releasing past painful events. There was beauty and grace in that experience and I felt much lighter afterwards. Releasing old stuff is always a good thing.
This morning's journey took me on a very different path--the path of joy in living. Because my childhood was full of chaos and pain, my focus for years was healing and creating a fresh start, and so I did.
What I often forget along the way--I think we all often forget--is that joy, love and fun are also part of living.
Flashes of happy times flowed through me, increasing and deepening my sense of gratitude and unleashing the joy that had been forgotten. The years and events flew by like watching a movie in fast forward as I remembered the good times and the people who loved and supported me.
The memory of joy that stood out the brightest was holding my first born daughter in my arms. I was a teenage mom and there had been plenty of drama around that. But when I looked at her and she looked at me all that faded away. For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to truly love another without reservation. Until that moment I had no idea that I was capable of such love.
My memories flowed to the birth of my 3 other babies and how each time I wasn't sure I could be any more open to love, blessings and joy--I did.
Life has a way of getting in the way of gratitude and love if we stop paying attention. To have this experience today--to feel joy released and to remember how truly blessed I am is wonderful. It is a good reminder that the good and the difficult all exist around me and it is my focus that determines my experience and my reality now.
Today I am grateful for the journey of my life. A corner has been turned on this 20th day of gratitude and a new adventure awaits.
So today my Inner Chicken and I will ride the waves of this new grand adventure, feeling blessed to be alive.
In gratitude,
Bonnie
This morning's journey took me on a very different path--the path of joy in living. Because my childhood was full of chaos and pain, my focus for years was healing and creating a fresh start, and so I did.
What I often forget along the way--I think we all often forget--is that joy, love and fun are also part of living.
Flashes of happy times flowed through me, increasing and deepening my sense of gratitude and unleashing the joy that had been forgotten. The years and events flew by like watching a movie in fast forward as I remembered the good times and the people who loved and supported me.
The memory of joy that stood out the brightest was holding my first born daughter in my arms. I was a teenage mom and there had been plenty of drama around that. But when I looked at her and she looked at me all that faded away. For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to truly love another without reservation. Until that moment I had no idea that I was capable of such love.
My memories flowed to the birth of my 3 other babies and how each time I wasn't sure I could be any more open to love, blessings and joy--I did.
Life has a way of getting in the way of gratitude and love if we stop paying attention. To have this experience today--to feel joy released and to remember how truly blessed I am is wonderful. It is a good reminder that the good and the difficult all exist around me and it is my focus that determines my experience and my reality now.
Today I am grateful for the journey of my life. A corner has been turned on this 20th day of gratitude and a new adventure awaits.
So today my Inner Chicken and I will ride the waves of this new grand adventure, feeling blessed to be alive.
In gratitude,
Bonnie
Saturday, November 19, 2011
My Journey of Gratitude - Day 18
The more time I spend in this state of gratitude, the more I learn about who I am and who I am becoming and that leads to feeling even more gratitude. And I continue to fall in love with myself more every day in new ways. What an incredible Being I really am--amazing how I never saw that before. Amazing how we forget to remember how amazing we each are.
As I keep my focus on gratitude, I notice subtle shifts within. Increasingly I am more open to seeing life as a journey and less needing to try to control my outcomes. What a relief that is! To begin giving up controlling my life and how it turns out and relax into the moment as it is--priceless.
I already know my eventual destination, so why not be open to the journey itself and enjoying the outcomes rather than fearing them. That is a huge shift for me. I've always been a destination kinda gal--focusing more on getting to the finish line and forgetting to notice the cool things along the way.
Other changes are beginning to show up in my life as well--physical changes. As I physically relax into this journey of gratitude I am sleeping more. Never realized how wound up and constricted I had become the past couple of years with trying to do things the 'right' way and control the outcomes. The more I relax, the slower my pace the more I actually accomplish. Seems counter-intuitive I know--but it's real.
And I am physically detoxing a bit as the energy of gratitude floods my body, flushing out the old 'not enoughness' that was trapped. A bit uncomfortable certainly, but also refreshing as my body continues to let go of what it no longer needs to hold.
My outlook on life is definitely brighter--this attitude of gratitude is becoming a constant presence in my life. More and more when an old habitual thought of worry or fear arises, I am flooded with feelings, images and thoughts of all I have to be grateful for. A new habit of gratitude as my natural state of being is arising.
I find that I'm walking around in love with people and with the world instead of shrinking away from the chaos and pain. All good and all bad still exist out there. We do live in a world of polarity, but the difference for me is where I now place my focus. Gratitude is not only a state of being, it is also a choice. A choice that I make every moment in my life. To choose gratitude over fear. To choose to focus on all that is good in life and allow my experience of life to be simpler, happier.
I no longer feel the need to save the world. Did I really believe that I could? Loving myself and my life one day at a time is enough. If we each do that, the world won't need saving.
In the meantime, life is meant to be an adventure and we are meant to enjoy the journey--living full out to the best we can.
Cue the Hawaii 5-0 theme song and my Inner Chicken riding the waves of life!
In gratitude, Bonnie
As I keep my focus on gratitude, I notice subtle shifts within. Increasingly I am more open to seeing life as a journey and less needing to try to control my outcomes. What a relief that is! To begin giving up controlling my life and how it turns out and relax into the moment as it is--priceless.
I already know my eventual destination, so why not be open to the journey itself and enjoying the outcomes rather than fearing them. That is a huge shift for me. I've always been a destination kinda gal--focusing more on getting to the finish line and forgetting to notice the cool things along the way.
Other changes are beginning to show up in my life as well--physical changes. As I physically relax into this journey of gratitude I am sleeping more. Never realized how wound up and constricted I had become the past couple of years with trying to do things the 'right' way and control the outcomes. The more I relax, the slower my pace the more I actually accomplish. Seems counter-intuitive I know--but it's real.
And I am physically detoxing a bit as the energy of gratitude floods my body, flushing out the old 'not enoughness' that was trapped. A bit uncomfortable certainly, but also refreshing as my body continues to let go of what it no longer needs to hold.
My outlook on life is definitely brighter--this attitude of gratitude is becoming a constant presence in my life. More and more when an old habitual thought of worry or fear arises, I am flooded with feelings, images and thoughts of all I have to be grateful for. A new habit of gratitude as my natural state of being is arising.
I find that I'm walking around in love with people and with the world instead of shrinking away from the chaos and pain. All good and all bad still exist out there. We do live in a world of polarity, but the difference for me is where I now place my focus. Gratitude is not only a state of being, it is also a choice. A choice that I make every moment in my life. To choose gratitude over fear. To choose to focus on all that is good in life and allow my experience of life to be simpler, happier.
I no longer feel the need to save the world. Did I really believe that I could? Loving myself and my life one day at a time is enough. If we each do that, the world won't need saving.
In the meantime, life is meant to be an adventure and we are meant to enjoy the journey--living full out to the best we can.
Cue the Hawaii 5-0 theme song and my Inner Chicken riding the waves of life!
In gratitude, Bonnie
Thursday, November 17, 2011
My Journey of Gratitude - Day 16
I want to first thank a good friend of mine for helping me yesterday to clear some of the old stuff that has arisen during this journey of mine. Whenever you make a shift of any kind your frequency changes and whatever you've been holding that no longer resonates with that new 'you' shakes loose and needs to be released. That is what healing is all about--letting go of what no longer fits. So yesterday my friend Sue helped me let go of all that had shaken loose and I feel so much more freedom. For that I am grateful.
So this morning, feeling more freedom within and without, I sat down to practice my 10 minutes of gratitude. It was easier to get into that state of gratitude this morning because most of the chatter that I normally have to move through was gone. A big WooHoo! on that score!
What is left behind is a deeper warmth, like glowing embers after the logs have burned themselves down. A calm, steady warmth that spread through me, deep into my bones.
Not the high that I've always felt before; you know that mountain top experience we often get. But with every high must come a leveling out because we are not called to live at the top of the mountain all the time--or at least I'm not. I am called to live amongst people and be of service from within the community, not separate from them.
And so a new sense of gratitude was born within me today. It feels like I found myself again and, even better, I fell in love with myself all over again.
Today I am grateful for the slow, steady glow of gratitude that warms me and tells me that I am 'home' at last.
In gratitude,
Bonnie
So this morning, feeling more freedom within and without, I sat down to practice my 10 minutes of gratitude. It was easier to get into that state of gratitude this morning because most of the chatter that I normally have to move through was gone. A big WooHoo! on that score!
What is left behind is a deeper warmth, like glowing embers after the logs have burned themselves down. A calm, steady warmth that spread through me, deep into my bones.
Not the high that I've always felt before; you know that mountain top experience we often get. But with every high must come a leveling out because we are not called to live at the top of the mountain all the time--or at least I'm not. I am called to live amongst people and be of service from within the community, not separate from them.
And so a new sense of gratitude was born within me today. It feels like I found myself again and, even better, I fell in love with myself all over again.
Today I am grateful for the slow, steady glow of gratitude that warms me and tells me that I am 'home' at last.
In gratitude,
Bonnie
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
My Journey of Gratitude - Day 8
My mind gets so impatient when it feels I'm not moving forward fast enough. It is always wanting more, more, more and faster. This impatience stems from an old belief that there is not enough, so better get it right now. And that was my experience this morning.
Impatience when nothing 'grand' seemed to be happening. I love those mountain top experiences. You know the ones where you feel on top of the world and everything is laid at your feet. Your energy is high and you are in the zone. I love that and truth is that there are many other ways to experience transformation as well.
Those gentle moments of gratitude are just as powerful--when I am open to noticing them. Like a warm gentle breeze blowing freshness into my home, so is that gentle, easy flow of gratitude bringing freshness into my life--and I am transforming.
This journey with gratitude is building a new foundation from which to live my life. My old foundation which was based on past pain was like a huge dam filled with thousands of leaks and threatening to overwhelm me should I not contain it all. What an exhausting way to live!
Today I have a new image. The dam has broken and I'm riding the waves using the energy released to fuel my new foundation, my new way of living in this world.
No longer afraid of being overwhelmed, I am now free to build anew. And I hear myself on that surfboard yelling "Ride the waves baby. Ride the waves."
Impatience when nothing 'grand' seemed to be happening. I love those mountain top experiences. You know the ones where you feel on top of the world and everything is laid at your feet. Your energy is high and you are in the zone. I love that and truth is that there are many other ways to experience transformation as well.
Those gentle moments of gratitude are just as powerful--when I am open to noticing them. Like a warm gentle breeze blowing freshness into my home, so is that gentle, easy flow of gratitude bringing freshness into my life--and I am transforming.
This journey with gratitude is building a new foundation from which to live my life. My old foundation which was based on past pain was like a huge dam filled with thousands of leaks and threatening to overwhelm me should I not contain it all. What an exhausting way to live!
Today I have a new image. The dam has broken and I'm riding the waves using the energy released to fuel my new foundation, my new way of living in this world.
No longer afraid of being overwhelmed, I am now free to build anew. And I hear myself on that surfboard yelling "Ride the waves baby. Ride the waves."
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Pushing the River - or Not!
How many times have your caught yourself trying to make things work rather than allowing them to work in your own divine order. After you read this, we would love to hear your responses - thank you, Katie and Bonnie
Resistance is Futile! What we resist persists! Whatever we remember to say to ourselves can make all the difference. I think we can all see when we review our own lives, that those times where we tried to push the river, resist change, or make things work out exactly as we wanted - were not our best or most productive times. At least I can speak for myself, the times when I was 'efforting' to make things work the way I thought they 'should', I often missed terrific opportunities that were right there waiting for me. And when I relaxed into my life and paid attention to what was coming my way, life was much more agreeable.
Katie
There is a huge difference in results between trying and allowing. Trying is what we have been taught in our culture is the right thing to do. Try and try again. What if allowing actually gave us the outcomes we were seeking--without all the spinning of the wheels, worry and beating our heads against the wall?
Something as simple as allowing is a concept many of us have trouble with because it seems like we aren't 'doing' anything.
Trying is the energy of searching but never finding. It is the realm of the conscious mind and contributes to stress, unhappiness, even ill health. As long as you focus your efforts on trying, you prevent yourself from having.
Allowing, on the other hand, is the realm of Source mind, our greater capacity. It is the energy of having, of achieving, of succeeding. It is not a passive state--but actually quite active. When you are in allowing, you are open to receive inspiration and inspired action.
Very different attitudes, different outcomes and different energies used.
Plus allowing is just more fun once you get the hang of it!
Something as simple as allowing is a concept many of us have trouble with because it seems like we aren't 'doing' anything.
Trying is the energy of searching but never finding. It is the realm of the conscious mind and contributes to stress, unhappiness, even ill health. As long as you focus your efforts on trying, you prevent yourself from having.
Allowing, on the other hand, is the realm of Source mind, our greater capacity. It is the energy of having, of achieving, of succeeding. It is not a passive state--but actually quite active. When you are in allowing, you are open to receive inspiration and inspired action.
Very different attitudes, different outcomes and different energies used.
Plus allowing is just more fun once you get the hang of it!
Bonnie
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