My Journey of Gratitude - Day 29

This morning's journey took me into a place of stillness and inner peace. I enjoyed the feeling of silence around me and the stillness within me, but that was just the beginning of my journey.

Gratitude led to peace which took me to a place of deepest love--love of life and love for life.

This is that place of every-thing and no-thing. The 'void' that I used to fear but now wrap around me like a warm blanket. It is always in this void, this place before creation, that I experience my deepest truths and my deepest understandings. It is not a place I get to often, but today I did.

Sitting in this energy of every-thing and no-thing, I am free to be re-created into a new thing.

Gratitude exists in this place as well. I'm finding that gratitude exists everywhere. It feels like the glue that holds the universe together and allows Love to enter in.

Love and fear are the only 2 real emotions. Everything else you experience are aspects of one or the other. It is impossible for them to exist in the same place at the time. You are either in a state of love or a state of fear in any given moment.

The state of gratitude opens the door for love to enter in and reside within you. Fear, then has no room and no reason to exist.

But we live in a world of duality--good/evil, right/wrong, gain/loss--with fear, chaos and conflict seemingly in charge. That is one aspect of reality, but it does not need to be the only aspect I experience.

With each day of this journey I understand on ever deepening levels not just the importance and benefits of living in gratitude, but the amazing tool for transformation that gratitude is.

No other tool is as easy to employ to change your experience of life. It costs nothing, needs no user manual to assemble and is available to you in every moment.

You simply close your eyes, take a deep breath and say 'thank you'. Your Spirit self can take it from there.

Gratitude can be the next great adventure of your life--if you allow it.

My eyes closed, a deep breath and thank you for being on this journey with me.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 23

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. and we are spending today with family.  Any day I spend with my children and grandchildren is a day to be grateful, but this day most of all.

I began my meditation with an open heart filling with thoughts of each family member.  There is a new grandbaby on her way, so extra special gratitude for a new life among us.  One daughter has found 'the one' and he is being introduced to the whole clan today.  I am grateful for her newfound happiness and also that this family so easily opens its arms and heart to embrace new life and new love as we continue to grow.

As I continued to sit in my state of gratitude, allowing my mind to take me to new places, my physical body responded to me.  Not in the warm glow of gratitude way that I normally experience, but something different.  It immediately got my attention.

There was a response to the gratitude--a living response as my body flowed it back to me.  It was like standing at a top of a canyon yelling "Hello.  I love you' and expecting those words to be echoed back.  Instead I heard "I love you too."  A surprise as I realized for the first time that gratitude is a 2-way communication!

All this time I've sent thanks and love to my body for all it does for me, yet had never considered the possibility that my body would respond in kind.

As a medical intuitive who works with the physical body and health all the time you'd think I wouldn't have been surprised, but there I sat in amazement as this deeper communication between us continued--as equals and co-creators of my life.

My body does more than just reflect my thoughts; it responds with its own as well.  And isn't that really how it should be--my body as more than a reflection of me, but an active co-creator?  Isn't that how it is supposed to be for each of us?

After all, doesn't my body house my Essence?  Why wouldn't we consciously co-create not only my health, but my life?  Why wouldn't we work in cooperation and harmony with each other?

This morning the meaning of being 'present in my body' took on a whole new depth of understanding and experience.  Gratitude is not just a feeling, not just a state of being--it is also a 2-way communication.  Whether that be between body-mind or two people, gratitude is a divine method of communication.

I am grateful today for the body I live in and it is grateful for my presence and my acknowledgement.

New doors have just opened.

I welcome your comments and experiences!

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 21

This morning's journey began with frustration.  Frustration because some things I'm working towards are not happening, or at least not happening at the speed I want.  So my meditation began with a bit of cursing the challenges I face.  Why me?  Why not me? What good is it to be grateful for my troubles and challenges?  That just smacks of my old religious upbringing to be grateful for what little God gives me!

So there I sat with my questions and gave thanks for them.  Even if I couldn't feel grateful for the challenges, I was at least grateful for the questions.  It didn't take long for the answers to move through me.

Gratitude must come from the inside.  When I look outside of myself to what I do or do not have, it is easy to lose that sense of gratitude because gratitude will never come from outside of myself.  It is an 'inside job' and that's where the powerful of gratitude lies--within each of us.  Not out in the world we experience, but within each one of us is the seed of gratitude.

'Challenges, problems, troubles, difficulties, not-enoughness'--are words we have assigned a negative meaning to and they come with energy that contracts us rather than expands us. 

What if I shifted my perspective and thought of them as 'opportunities'?  After all, isn't that what they really are--opportunities to take action, make a new decision, re-evaluate, let go, embrace, to say yes please or no thank you to situations in our lives.  How would that change my feelings about what happens around me?

An instant internal shift happened and I again slipped into that gentle warmth of gratitude.  Thankful for a new understanding; thankful that I asked a better question and received a better answer.  Thankful that by simply changing my perception of words I shifted from contraction into the expansive energy of gratitude.

So now I understand that the situations I face are opportunities for me to re-think and re-choose the direction I want to move on this journey that is my life.

That is a powerful understanding to receive!

And it makes all the difference in the world to me.  Instead of contracting into frustration and old patterns, gratitude expanded me into new ways of thinking about my reality.  How 'real' do I want this situation to be--and what do I want to be real for me instead?  Again--a better question yields a better answer.

I am grateful for the opportunities to succeed that are now open before me. I have some re-thinking and re-choosing to do today!

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 20

The joy of gratitude! Yesterday I experienced my body taking over and releasing past painful events. There was beauty and grace in that experience and I felt much lighter afterwards. Releasing old stuff is always a good thing.

This morning's journey took me on a very different path--the path of joy in living. Because my childhood was full of chaos and pain, my focus for years was healing and creating a fresh start, and so I did.

What I often forget along the way--I think we all often forget--is that joy, love and fun are also part of living.

Flashes of happy times flowed through me, increasing and deepening my sense of gratitude and unleashing the joy that had been forgotten. The years and events flew by like watching a movie in fast forward as I remembered the good times and the people who loved and supported me.

The memory of joy that stood out the brightest was holding my first born daughter in my arms. I was a teenage mom and there had been plenty of drama around that. But when I looked at her and she looked at me all that faded away. For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to truly love another without reservation. Until that moment I had no idea that I was capable of such love.

My memories flowed to the birth of my 3 other babies and how each time I wasn't sure I could be any more open to love, blessings and joy--I did.

Life has a way of getting in the way of gratitude and love if we stop paying attention. To have this experience today--to feel joy released and to remember how truly blessed I am is wonderful. It is a good reminder that the good and the difficult all exist around me and it is my focus that determines my experience and my reality now.

Today I am grateful for the journey of my life. A corner has been turned on this 20th day of gratitude and a new adventure awaits.

So today my Inner Chicken and I will ride the waves of this new grand adventure, feeling blessed to be alive.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 19

Gratitude leads to inner peace and that is how I awoke this morning, with this deepest sense of inner peace as my first awareness.  So instead of getting up to do my 10 minutes of gratitude meditation in my usual spot, I allowed myself to shift into gratitude right there, lying in bed all snuggled under the blankets on a dark, cold morning and had a very different experience of gratitude.

Usually it is my mind that guides me through the meditation; my mind that consciously takes me into gratitude.  This time, maybe because I was so relaxed, it was my physical body that took over the reins, guiding me ever deeper into what happens to me physically when I am in a state of gratitude.  An odd experience certainly and I'm not quite sure if I can describe the difference. 

Always before my mind told me what my body was feeling; whether it was about gratitude or anything else, the understanding came through my mind.  This morning, however, the knowing came directly from my body--and I understood it.  Instead of gratitude flowing from my thoughts down into my physical being, it was my body that flowed gratitude to my thoughts.  My body was reflecting back to me its new state of being now--a state of physical being that carried, held and flowed gratitude.  No longer was my body being fed gratitude, it had become the state of gratitude.  Something had shifted within the physical and it all feels different.

Curious now to see what was next, I relaxed into this new experience and allowed it to unfold.  At first I thought my mind was wandering and I'd try to bring it back to the present.  But then I realized that my mind wasn't wandering because my mind was not controlling this experience--my body was.  Old memories would pop up--what use to be very painful memories from childhood.  Instead of the feeling of pain and woundedness that always accompanied these memories, a feeling of warmth--that new state of gratitude I have--flowed through each memory, dissolving it. 

It took a few minutes to realize that the intelligence of my body--and make no mistake our bodies have an intelligence of their own--was using gratitude to heal the pain in my past.  So I lay there, open and allowing this process to unfold as memory after memory was released from my cells and healed.  Past memories and future worries, all healed in the same way--with gratitude.

As a medical intuitive I am use to entering the body and taking a look around, but that is my mind controlling the process.  This experience was entirely different.  I could actually feel my body healing itself and it was doing it consciously, wanting me to know and understand what was happening.  Gratitude has become so much more than a feeling I flow through my body 10 minutes a day.  It is now a state of being that I live in and that my body responds to. 

As the body is a reflection of the mind, I saw a new reflection of myself this morning.  And I am grateful for who I am and who I am becoming.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 18

The more time I spend in this state of gratitude, the more I learn about who I am and who I am becoming and that leads to feeling even more gratitude.  And I continue to fall in love with myself more every day in new ways.  What an incredible Being I really am--amazing how I never saw that before.  Amazing how we forget to remember how amazing we each are.

As I keep my focus on gratitude, I notice subtle shifts within.  Increasingly I am more open to seeing life as a journey and less needing to try to control my outcomes.  What a relief that is!  To begin giving up controlling my life and how it turns out and relax into the moment as it is--priceless.

I already know my eventual destination, so why not be open to the journey itself and enjoying the outcomes rather than fearing them.  That is a huge shift for me.  I've always been a destination kinda gal--focusing more on getting to the finish line and forgetting to notice the cool things along the way. 

Other changes are beginning to show up in my life as well--physical changes.  As I physically relax into this journey of gratitude I am sleeping more.  Never realized how wound up and constricted I had become the past couple of years with trying to do things the 'right' way and control the outcomes. The more I relax, the slower my pace the more I actually accomplish.  Seems counter-intuitive I know--but it's real.

And I am physically detoxing a bit as the energy of gratitude floods my body, flushing out the old 'not enoughness' that was trapped.  A bit uncomfortable certainly, but also refreshing as my body continues to let go of what it no longer needs to hold.

My outlook on life is definitely brighter--this attitude of gratitude is becoming a constant presence in my life.  More and more when an old habitual thought of worry or fear arises, I am flooded with feelings, images and thoughts of all I have to be grateful for.  A new habit of gratitude as my natural state of being is arising.

I find that I'm walking around in love with people and with the world instead of shrinking away from the chaos and pain.  All good and all bad still exist out there.  We do live in a world of polarity, but the difference for me is where I now place my focus.  Gratitude is not only a state of being, it is also a choice.  A choice that I make every moment in my life.  To choose gratitude over fear.  To choose to focus on all that is good in life and allow my experience of life to be simpler, happier.

I no longer feel the need to save the world. Did I really believe that I could? Loving myself and my life one day at a time is enough.  If we each do that, the world won't need saving.

In the meantime, life is meant to be an adventure and we are meant to enjoy the journey--living full out to the best we can.

Cue the Hawaii 5-0 theme song and my Inner Chicken riding the waves of life!

In gratitude,  Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 17

It seems that the more time I spend in gratitude, the less I have to say.  There comes this tipping point where the experience becomes so deep that words cannot capture the essence of what is felt.  And I believe I may have reached that tipping point.

Normally it would take me a few minutes to settle my mind enough so that I could step into the state of gratitude.  Today, however, I gently slipped into it and was feeling it before I was even aware of being there.  That was an interesting experience in itself!

I sat in the new experience of thankfulness, a gentle warmth glowing through me and felt my outer world swirling around me-forming, dissolving and reforming itself over and over again.  It was like sitting safely by a warm fire with a storm raging outside.  My inner self is calm, peaceful and safe while my outer life is changing into something not yet seen.

When I look around my life everything looks the same, but my internal experience is so different that nothing feels the same. Normally that would make me nervous and scrambling for some stability, but instead today I am feeling calm, peaceful and trusting.  There is deep within me a knowing that all is well.

Today I am grateful for what is and curious about what will be.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 16

I want to first thank a good friend of mine for helping me yesterday to clear some of the old stuff that has arisen during this journey of mine.  Whenever you make a shift of any kind your frequency changes and whatever you've been holding that no longer resonates with that new 'you' shakes loose and needs to be released.  That is what healing is all about--letting go of what no longer fits.  So yesterday my friend Sue helped me let go of all that had shaken loose and I feel so much more freedom.  For that I am grateful.

So this morning, feeling more freedom within and without, I sat down to practice my 10 minutes of gratitude.  It was easier to get into that state of gratitude this morning because most of the chatter that I normally have to move through was gone.  A big WooHoo! on that score!

What is left behind is a deeper warmth, like glowing embers after the logs have burned themselves down.  A calm, steady warmth that spread through me, deep into my bones.

Not the high that I've always felt before; you know that mountain top experience we often get. But with every high must come a leveling out because we are not called to live at the top of the mountain all the time--or at least I'm not.  I am called to live amongst people and be of service from within the community, not separate from them.

And so a new sense of gratitude was born within me today.  It feels like I found myself again and, even better, I fell in love with myself all over again.

Today I am grateful for the slow, steady glow of gratitude that warms me and tells me that I am 'home' at last.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 15

Before I begin talking about my experience this morning with gratitude I'd like to answer a couple of questions that I've received from people following my journey.

How do I get started and what do I do once I've started?

I always start my 10 minute mediation by closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths.  Then I begin with my gratitude prayers--thank you for my life, thank you for my ability to breathe, and then I move through gratefulness for my husband, children, grandchildren, friends and opportunities. After that I take another deep breath and quiet my mind and allow myself to feel the gratitude for all those things.  Some days it flows smoothly and other days it's more challenging.

Just like today--I had a few false starts and had to start over again.  It's a journey, not a destination I have to remind myself.  Simply a journey.

OK.  On to my experience this morning. And an interesting one it was as I mark the mid-way point of this 30 day journey.  A bit of a challenge to settle down into gratitude.  My conscious mind was running wild with thoughts of today's 'to do' list and I even found myself worrying about getting my Christmas shopping done.  Lots of resistance for some reason.

At first I tried reining the thoughts in, which of course did not work.  So I allowed them to scurry across my inner vision unhindered, like clouds being blown across the sky by a strong wind.

Then it happened--I felt a sudden, subtle shift and my mind went completely still and time seemed to stop.  All sounds silenced and my outer world ceased to exist.

I sat in this profound silence and felt myself floating in what felt like a primordial soup of everything and nothing.  Of course, the moment I was aware I popped out of it, but then would fall right back into it again.  So there I sate, blinking in and out from what felt like existence to non-existence, from particle to wave to particle again.  Back and forth, in and out, feeling gratitude in both states of being.  But gratitude in a very different way that is difficult to describe.

I've had this experience before when in deep meditation, but this was the first time I blinked back and forth, bringing gratitude with me.

Instead of experiencing the feeling of gratitude, I believe I experienced the knowing of it--the true state of it.  I believe I tapped into that place where all things manifest--the unified field that exists all around us and I felt a presence of something very wonderful.

And for that I am most grateful today.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 14

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."  Abraham Lincoln

That quotes floats through my mind as I begin my time with gratitude.  How happy am I allowing myself to be and what stops me from being happy all the time? Interesting thought to ponder and it opens many doors hidden away in my mind.

As I continue spending time in the state of gratitude I find that all that is not gratitude--all that cannot exist in this energy--is free to roll on up and out of me.  My initial reaction is to stop and ponder each thought and each feeling; wanting to understand and solve.  That's part of our human nature and the function of our conscious mind, that desire to know the 'why' of every situation. 

But asking 'why' will only give you the story surrounding the situation; it will never give you the truth that lies within.  For that you must sit within the middle of it all, giving thanks for whatever is.  As a teacher of mine often says "Understanding is just the booby prize."  Consciously choosing what you want instead of what you currently have--there is the power and the freedom to create change.

To be stand in the middle of your life situation and say "No matter what has happened to me in the past--this is what I choose today.  This is how I choose to live today."  That is true self-empowerment.

Gratitude comes in many forms and some days are easier than others to feel thankful.  Today gratitude showed up as patience and trust.

Patience that saying 'thank you' in the face of doubt is enough, and trust that all is well regardless of what I see happening--or not happening--around me.

So today I am grateful for my doubts, my faith and my journey, bumps and all.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 13

A funny thing about opening to feelings--you can't just pick and choose which feelings you allow.  It's not possible to say "I will only feel the 'good' feelings today."  That's because feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong.  They are just feelings brought on by your thoughts.

So the other day when the dam burst open and everything that was backed up came pouring forth, I understood that would mean that all my feelings were free to express themselves.  And they certainly have! 

Yesterday was my impatience and today my sadness made its appearance. Not the profound sadness of years past, but the sadness of unanswered prayers, missed opportunities and things I have done or left undone. 

Earlier this morning I read a passage that fit perfectly for this moment.  "Bask in the luxury of feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved."  So I did.  As I stepped more fully into that state of gratitude feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved, I allowed the sadness to flow through me, freeing it from the prison of my body.  A sweet gentleness flowed in to fill the empty spaces where sadness had previously lived. 

The more I let go of what no longer serves me and what I have imprisoned in my body, the more free I am to fully live the life I love.  I begin my day in a place of serenity and knowingness.

Today I am grateful for my ability to fully experience all my emotions and to bask in the luxury of being fully understood and unconditionally loved.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 12

Gratitude was a bit harder to come by this morning.  Lack of patience though showed up in abundance.  That great yummy feeling that I normally slip into, that fullness of the heart, was a no show today.  I stuck with it though because this is, after all, a journey not a destination.  Just because I'm not feeling the gratitude in any given moment doesn't mean that I'm not grateful, just that I'm not in the feeling of it.

I'm imperfect.  Oh no--was that my outdoor voice!?  Parts of me were horrified at that admission while other parts relieved that I finally got it.  It really shouldn't have been such a big surprise--because we all know that no one is perfect.  But it was that sudden 'knowing' that took me by surprise.  You know that moment when you really get it--and once you truly know something you can never again unknow it.  Obviously some part of me thought my imperfections were a well kept secret, though I'm sure if you ask my husband or my kids they'd just roll their eyes and snort.

So I sat in gratitude with my imperfect self.  I sat with the shame that came bursting forth from that admission and continued to give thanks for this journey of getting to know myself in deeper ways.  I was really clueless that parts of me were still trying to be perfect--and successfully failing.  Trying to be perfect is just an old survival strategy from childhood that was waiting for an opportunity to be healed.

And like a dam bursting as the seams, the shame, blame and guilt bottled up inside came flooding out in a torrent.  Instead of being met with resistance or denial though, I allowed those feelings to flow up and out in a state of gratitude.  Because, really--who needs to keep those 3 feelings as a constant companion? 

To be honest--today was really uncomfortable for me; not the happy love-fest I experienced at the beginning.  But it was real, it was honest and it quickly passed, because I stayed in gratitude for the experience.

Every journey has its wonders and its trials.  There are days of ease and days of effort.  Yet with each step on this journey I move forward and each day holds something to be grateful for.  That is what I hold on to when gratitude is not so easy to find.

I am grateful for the gift of my imperfections for they remind me to love myself even more and they remind me that we are all just doing the best we can with what we've got.  Embracing my imperfections allows me to let go of who I think I'm suppose to be and appreciate the fullness of who I actually am.

And that, my friends, was worth the 10 minutes of uncomfortable gratitude this morning.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 11

I am so grateful for early mornings!  My husband is still asleep, the house is quiet and it feels like I have the world all to myself.  It's my favorite time of day because every morning I get to choose anew who I am and how I want to live my life.  Every morning is a 'do over' when, no matter what happened the day before, THIS day I get to be grateful for once again.

This morning my time in gratitude was met with a fair amount of fear at first.  Fear that I was expanding and changing too fast.  Like instead of driving my nice, dependable sedan, I had suddenly jumped behind the wheel of an expensive race car and took off at the speed of light.

"Who will you be if you keep going at this pace?  What will become of me?" I heard in my mind.  My inner child was worried that trouble lay ahead, because as a child whenever I spoke up, asked for what I wanted or did anything 'different', trouble ensured for someone.  So early on I learned to keep a low profile, to stay contracted and off the radar.

But here I am now--on everybody's radar!  Stepping up and stepping out in gratitude--and telling people about it.

So I took a deep breath and sat with my inner child and her fears, thanking them for being there, feeling gratitude for their presence.  And there we sat, the 3 of us in a state of gratitude until the fear dissolved and love flowed in.

An old Billy Joel song began drifting through my mind--just parts of it. "Don't go changing to try and please me.  I love you just the way you are."  And I drifted deeper into the meaning of those words.  I don't have to change anything about myself in order to be loved or in order to have what I want in life.  Living in a state of gratitude changes everything without me having to force a change or trying to be perfect, whatever 'perfect' means. 

Transformation is a natural outcome from gratitude and a spirit of thankfulness.  With a deep sigh my body relaxed into a gentle easiness and lightness.

Today is a play date with 2 of my grandkids, ages 7 and almost 4.  We're making pumpkin pies from real pumpkins.  As a child I learned to bake from my grandmother.  She wanted me to know that not everything comes from a can, and that's a tradition I carry on with my own grandkids.  So today we will cut up the pumpkins, bake them and the seeds, then turn them into delicious pies.

Afterwards is our special movie night complete with pizza and root beer floats before being tucked into bed with kisses from their Mimi (that's me!)

My inner child is invited to join the fun.

I am grateful for this day and for my life.  Every day is a gift that I treasure.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 10

Ten days into my 10 minutes of gratitude and my mind is telling me how bored it is already. Because of my commitment to these 30 days, I decide to sit in gratitude for the boredom--and so I do.  I'm just so grateful to be alive that 10 minutes of boredom doesn't seem so bad.  And I was curious as to why today my mind was bored.  Why not yesterday or why not next week.  What was it about today in particular that I was bored.

Wasn't very long before I had the answer.  My mind began running funny images through my mind to distract me from thinking.  Images of the Stay Puff marshmallow man from the movie Ghostbuster, images from other funny movies that I love, and then drifting into childhood memories of fun and playfulness.  Playing 'kick the can' with all the neighborhood kids in the summer just as the sun was going down.  Softball in our backyard, catching minnows in the creek that ran behind our property--many times of laughter and fun. 

I realized my mind was showing me that there is more to Life than just sitting in my head--that living in gratitude means LIVING--as in being outside of myself and actually living in the world, not just my head.  So as each image, each memory flashed through my vision I felt something heal within me and replaced with something new and fresh within.  It was like each happy thought opened a door to more freedom and my desire to allow my inner life and outer life to be the same increased.

For those of you who know me, you know that I tend to be on the serious side and don't 'let my hair down' very often.  Not that I'm a stick-in-the-mud or anything, but I guess I had separated parts of my life from other parts and kept the playfulness and fun for only certain times.  That all changed as I saw the dam that separated my inner and outer worlds burst open and, once again, my Inner Chicken surfed the waves with the theme song to Hawaii 5-0 blaring in my head. 

The only appropriate response was to laugh out loud and be thankful for my life because--really--how many of you have an Inner Chicken?

So today my Inner Chicken and I are grateful for Life.  And I think we just might spend the day surfing the waves of gratitude and seeing where it takes us.

In gratitude,  Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 9

My vulnerability is my strength and I am grateful for that realization.

A couple of things I want to talk about today.  For years I've been meditating and all those years I always needed to hold a pillow or cover my solar plexus up in someway.  Couldn't meditate without that.  This morning during my 10 minutes of gratitude I noticed that I was not covering myself up and hadn't for the past couple of days.  That is a huge shift for me.  To be open and vulnerable with no need to protect parts of me.  It became so natural to not put a pillow or blanket in front of me that I didn't notice it for 3 days.  For this new openness I am grateful.

Until yesterday I didn't realize how vulnerable being in gratitude makes you.  In fact I hadn't even thought of myself as being more vulnerable until an experience yesterday with a person who made a few mean-spirited remarks to me for reasons of her own.  My first reaction was to feel hurt and shut down, but that is now such a foreign feeling that I was immediately aware of the shift from open gratitude to fear.

You see to me being vulnerable use to mean being weak, helpless and open for hurt. It meant that I was allowing anyone to come along and behave badly towards me, so no way was I going to be vulnerable! 

My experience with gratitude this morning showed me the true meaning of vulnerability--being fully present in my life, in my body and in the moment.  Fully present with myself and for others.  My vulnerability is my strength, my gift to myself and to others.  For only in the present and in my presence do I allow myself to be known.

Being vulnerable is my strength.  It is what makes me the healer and teacher that I am.  This journey of gratitude has shown me how I have closed myself off in the past and how much more Life and Light I have when I am open, vulnerable and present.

There will certainly be times when I run into people who behave in unkind ways; we are all doing the best we can with what we have and so many people still live from their pain rather than their true nature.  And I accept that people just do what people do and it is never personal really.  There will be those times, but the difference today is that I know and understand that in any moment that I lose my presence, I will remember that I now have a higher value on living from a state of gratitude and can return to being present with a simple decision.

So to the person who was so unkind--I am grateful for your presence in my life and the gift of understanding that I received through your action.  And to my friends that I turned to when I felt misunderstood, I am most grateful for the mirror you always hold up so that I can see my true reflection of who I am as a woman, a friend, a healer, a teacher.

My vulnerability is my strength and for that I am grateful today.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

Gratitude Experiment--Day 5

Resistance--what a great teacher!  It was inevitable this resistance.  The conscious mind doesn't think much of change after all and loves the status quo.  To spend time in the state of gratitude--and gratitude IS a state of being--opens you up to change.  And resistance arises, like an old pair of slippers.

I embraced my resistance and expressed gratitude for it.  'Thank you resistance!  How wonderful to see you again old friend.  I acknowledge and honor you as being part of who I am.  Welcome.'  It seemed insane at first to embrace my resistance because, after all, we resist feeling it don't we?  But what we resist persists.  And so we sat together--my resistance and me.  Just sat in gratitude that I actually had resistance--realizing that resistance has a positive intention, which is to keep my safe.

And in that moment of safety I felt the shift.  How precious is life!  My life, regardless of what I do or don't have, despite the situations I find myself in--my life IS precious.  Your life is precious.  The very act of living is precious.

Last night my husband & I attended a charity gala.  I got all 'gussied up' as my mother called it and Jim wore his tux.  We've always had a great time before at this annual gala, but this year was a very different experience.  The room was noisy & chaotic and several of the people at our table spent the evening drinking and texting rather than talking. 

So we left early and came home.  I quickly shed the fancy clothes and slipped into my favorite pair of flannel pajamas.  Just the man I love and myself--together and grateful. 

That experience last night showed me what I value most--a life of simplicity with people I love and who love me right back.  Being myself in every moment.  Being grateful for all my experiences--whether I like them or not.

So there I sat in my flannel pajamas filled with happy smiling frogs. Nothing to prove, nothing to do, nothing to be--just me in the moment.  Content, happy and grateful for everything.

Enjoying the essence of my life now.

In gratitude,
Bonnie




 

Break your trance of scarcity and breathe again

Break Your Trance of Scarcity First in a series of Brave Woman teleseminars  October 22nd 9:00 am PDT $29

“If struggling was the way to get there, we'd be there by now." Victoria Castle There is no question that scarcity exists.  It is also true that abundance exists as a reality as well.  So the question is – which reality are you currently living?  Are you satisfied with your life or is there something greater that you want to experience? Living in scarcity is living in a trance that squeezes the joy of life right out of you. It eclipses your greatness and stops you short of achieving your heart’s desire. It is a very real experience—and it is easily broken!  Like any trance state you can wake up from it.  All you need are a few simple tools -- which you get in this teleseminar. When you hold a belief in ‘not-enoughness’ you are stuck in patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that run counter to what you really want in life. We all live in a trance of our own creation.  Old habits and automatic reactions become hard-wired into your neurology and then you find yourself caught in a web of what you don’t want but not sure how to break free. There IS Life on the other side of the trance.  A life filled with love, abundance, great health, fulfillment, joy and success.  But first you must wake up from your current trance. This teleseminar show you exactly HOW to wake up and stay awake! Sign me up!   Your Trance of Scarcity is a story you learned to tell yourself at a young age about the reality of life. “I’m not enough. There is never enough. It’s too hard. Nobody cares.  Settle for less. I’m not worthy, deserving, valuable.”  It becomes your way of living, your day-to-day reality, directing your actions according to unconscious programming.  What you expect to show up in your life—does.  Beliefs of lack, struggle, and separation begin to define your reality and you forget to question what is true. But—and here is the key to waking from your trance—when you feel stuck in a never ending cycle of lack or trapped with nowhere to turn questioning your personal reality is a good thing! Being fully present in your life breaks the trance and opens you to new choices and new experiences.  Breaking the trance of scarcity wakes you up—and keeps you awake. In this teleseminar you learn to:  Break your trance of scarcity Be fully present in your life Clear blocks that keep you trapped Quickly transform your life with simple tools Embody a state of abundance To embody abundance means to live in a state of fullness and flow, being open to receiving and having different than you have now. You do all that and much more in this Brave Woman teleseminar: Break Your Trance of Scarcity Break free of the fears, dead-ends and frustrations of your life now! October 22nd 9:00 am PDT $29 Register Now! Take this Journey of Courage with other women wanting what you want—to live an Authentic Life as the Brave Woman that you are.    As always, this teleseminar includes intensive belief work along with a special meditation to enhance and integrate your healing. Upon registration you will receive a handout with a brief exercise.  Completing this exercise before the teleseminar will greatly enhance your healing experience. Can’t attend live? No worries!  This teleseminar will be recorded and the free replay made available to you the next day. We are excited to see you there! Bonnie & Katie

Hi - just in case you haven't heard - we have a terrific free seminar coming up for you on October 8th. It is a teleseminar so it is easy to attend either by phone or as a webcast, and if you can't attend - then sign up anyway and listen to the free replay after the seminar.

Most of you know that our free seminars are fully functional seminars - meaning - you learn real stuff AND you get into thrival mode with The One Command process and with one of Bonnie's brilliant meditations. All our classes are designed to be transformational on all levels of your life.

Email bonnie@inner-resources.net or katie@commandingwealth.com if you have more questions.

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

Tao Te Ching

We believe that every woman carries the seeds within her of true wisdom and true power. But the question is—Do you believe it of yourself?

Have you been sensing a:

• Restlessness that won’t go away no matter how much you ignore it
• Destiny calling you to something greater—but are afraid to answer
• Desire to share your values and vision with others—but don’t know how
• Need to step out now and just do it—whatever your “It” may be

Or are you tired of constantly Performing, Pleasing, Perfecting and Proving

to others that you are worthy and deserving?

This really is an exciting time to be a woman right now. Things are changing

and possibilities abound for you as a woman. You feel it, but you may not believe it yet.

Begin your transformation process of greater self-love, self-acceptance and coming ‘home’ to your body in new ways right now.

Using the simple, yet powerful 6-step process of The One Command, you let go
of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace, honor and respect your

Brave Woman.

In this teleseminar you: 

• Remember how good it feels to be a woman
• Find the courage to live as a Brave Woman
• Feel the connectedness with all women and the earth that nourishes you
• Experience the power of change with The One Command

Awaken the Brave Woman in you now.

Take this Journey of Courage with other women wanting what you want—to live an Authentic Life as the Brave Woman that you are.

Take the first step on your Journey of Courage now in this Free Teleseminar—Command Your Courage—Unlock Your Greatness.

Register Now for this free teleseminar

Invite your women friends to join you on this Free Teleseminar. We have built a support system for all women to gather together for encouragement, support, love and acceptance. And we’ll talk more about the many ways you can participate on October 8th.

As always, this teleseminar includes intensive belief work using The One Command along with a special meditation to enhance and integrate your healing.

Upon registration you will receive a handout with a brief exercise. Completing

this exercise before the teleseminar will greatly enhance your healing experience.

Can’t attend live? No worries! This teleseminar will be recorded and the

free replay made available to you the next day.

We are excited to see you there!

Bonnie & Katie

My mother, my Self

I was watching a tv show earlier today and heard something that struck me as really profound—at least for me and my relationship with my mother.

Mothers are responsible for us being here.  Like a bus they get us here.  The problem we run into is that we often spend our life trying to get back on the bus rather than living our own lives.

Now this comment was made talking about all of us—men & women alike.  But it got me to thinking about women and the relationship we’ve had with our mothers.  How in my life was I trying to ‘get back on the bus’, meaning living either my mother’s life or the life my mother trained me to have?

It didn’t take long to uncover that parts of me were still trying to live my mother’s expectations of what a ‘good’ wife, mother and woman is.  Growing up in the 50s & 60s with a mother who gave up all of who she was & was seriously depressed most of my life and a father who took a dim view on any female being an independent thinker, I learned that to be considered

‘good & proper’ as my mother put it, I must always put myself last no matter what I had to give up or how miserable I was.

I learned that ‘good’ women didn’t work, stayed emotionally & financially dependent upon the man, and that doing anything else was ‘bad’ and bad things happened to ‘bad’ women.  Because I grew up with an Italian father it was called the Madonna/Whore thing.  If you conformed to what a good woman was then you were a Madonna—pure, but helpless with no thought for yourself.  Anything else left you with just being the Whore…and we all know what society thinks of whores.  To this day I still cringe when I see or hear that word, but words have no more power to harm than we give them.  So I take back the power to live my own life on my own terms--and still be loved, accepted and successful as my Self.

Interesting dilemma that has put me in over my adult years.  And I was surprised to find that still part of my core identity even with all the healing work I’ve done over the years.  Yet, there it was—staring me right in the face and asking me what I was going to do about it.  Keep it and continue on the path I’m on or stand up as the Brave Woman that I know I am and say

No Way!  That is NOT me!

So I took some time to figure out what I wanted to believe about myself as a woman and about my life and commanded the changes.  That old feeling of conflict within no longer holds the power over my life.  Yes, I still feel some charge around that—and why wouldn’t I?  It was my early training and became an unconscious part of my identity as a woman.  So, yes, there is still

more healing work to do around it.  But the important part is that—now I see it and have looked that lie straight in the face and said—THIS is who I really am and THIS is how I live my life now.  I again awaken the Brave Woman that lies within and invite her to step forth and be engaged in my life.

So—how are you still trying to get back on that ‘bus’?

How are you living from an old, out-dated belief system that has never really been you?

And what do you want instead?

I witness your courage and your Brave Woman Within,

Bonnie

Breathing into your Brave Woman soul

To awaken and nurture that Brave Woman that lies within you, spend a few moments every day just being with her as you would your best friend.

As you invite her to be more active in your life, you will be amazed at the changes you notice within yourself and within others around you.

So your Brave Woman mantra for today is:

Breathe and be Whole in the joy of being You.