A New View of Life

As we move into not just a new year, but also New Paradigm – there seems to be as much fear as anticipation – this needs to change.

There have been many misinterpretations of the 2012 predictions, what is important to know is that major change is in the air and has been for sometime.  Just watching the news about our political, economic and social conditions worldwide confirms that. There are movements of major change everywhere.

And my clients have made that abundantly clear. They come to me because their inner-selves are in a state of discontent – a state of movement toward something they are not sure of yet, but which they know represents their True self – their greater Purpose. People are awakening in the most wonderful and also sometimes frustrating and even sometimes frightening or uncomfortable ways

Besides all the other ways we work together, I put great emphasis on placing fear where it belongs – behind us.

One of my favorite mantras is the litany against fear from the Bene Gesserit

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
--- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

I used to keep this near my computer until it became a part of me. Our thoughts are things, our thoughts actually create and change our DNA – what ideas do you want to support in the New Year and in your new life? Your new way of being?

Mike Dooley says in his TUT messages – ‘Thoughts are things, choose the good ones.’

Love and Blessings, Katie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 22

"Woman thou art loosed."  That is the title of a movie that I have never seen, yet those were the first words I heard this morning as I slipped into gratitude. 

Powerful words within this state of gratitude.  An opening, a shift of something intangible but very real happened.  A strong sense of personal power flowed through me, very different than the personal power I carried within me before.  Something deeper, broader, higher.

And a new fire was born within me.

Not the 'fire in the belly' masculine power nor the gentle internal knowing of feminine power, but something very different.  As if the two came together and created something new.

This experience did not flow from the feeling of gratitude; this new sense of personal power flowed into the space that being in a state of gratitude opened up.

I began this journey 22 days ago as an experiment to experience the feeling of gratitude and how that would change me.  What I quickly realized is that while gratitude is a feeling--it is also so much more; it is a state of being as well. 

In this state of being called gratitude doors open, healing takes place and your greater self steps in to play a much grander role than before.

And that is what I experienced this morning.  My ego self felt loved enough to give way to my soul self.  While my wonderful ego self has definite ideas about what I want and how I should have it, my soul self has even higher, grander ideas about what is possible for me.  This morning that door opened and my conscious connection to my soul flowed through.

How do I describe the delicious feeling of my divine self stepping into my life and essentially saying "I'll take it from here" while my ego agrees?

The only words I have right now are "Woman--thou are loosed."

Today I am grateful for this feeling of wholeness and excited about the new beginnings this means for me.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 17

It seems that the more time I spend in gratitude, the less I have to say.  There comes this tipping point where the experience becomes so deep that words cannot capture the essence of what is felt.  And I believe I may have reached that tipping point.

Normally it would take me a few minutes to settle my mind enough so that I could step into the state of gratitude.  Today, however, I gently slipped into it and was feeling it before I was even aware of being there.  That was an interesting experience in itself!

I sat in the new experience of thankfulness, a gentle warmth glowing through me and felt my outer world swirling around me-forming, dissolving and reforming itself over and over again.  It was like sitting safely by a warm fire with a storm raging outside.  My inner self is calm, peaceful and safe while my outer life is changing into something not yet seen.

When I look around my life everything looks the same, but my internal experience is so different that nothing feels the same. Normally that would make me nervous and scrambling for some stability, but instead today I am feeling calm, peaceful and trusting.  There is deep within me a knowing that all is well.

Today I am grateful for what is and curious about what will be.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 14

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."  Abraham Lincoln

That quotes floats through my mind as I begin my time with gratitude.  How happy am I allowing myself to be and what stops me from being happy all the time? Interesting thought to ponder and it opens many doors hidden away in my mind.

As I continue spending time in the state of gratitude I find that all that is not gratitude--all that cannot exist in this energy--is free to roll on up and out of me.  My initial reaction is to stop and ponder each thought and each feeling; wanting to understand and solve.  That's part of our human nature and the function of our conscious mind, that desire to know the 'why' of every situation. 

But asking 'why' will only give you the story surrounding the situation; it will never give you the truth that lies within.  For that you must sit within the middle of it all, giving thanks for whatever is.  As a teacher of mine often says "Understanding is just the booby prize."  Consciously choosing what you want instead of what you currently have--there is the power and the freedom to create change.

To be stand in the middle of your life situation and say "No matter what has happened to me in the past--this is what I choose today.  This is how I choose to live today."  That is true self-empowerment.

Gratitude comes in many forms and some days are easier than others to feel thankful.  Today gratitude showed up as patience and trust.

Patience that saying 'thank you' in the face of doubt is enough, and trust that all is well regardless of what I see happening--or not happening--around me.

So today I am grateful for my doubts, my faith and my journey, bumps and all.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 12

Gratitude was a bit harder to come by this morning.  Lack of patience though showed up in abundance.  That great yummy feeling that I normally slip into, that fullness of the heart, was a no show today.  I stuck with it though because this is, after all, a journey not a destination.  Just because I'm not feeling the gratitude in any given moment doesn't mean that I'm not grateful, just that I'm not in the feeling of it.

I'm imperfect.  Oh no--was that my outdoor voice!?  Parts of me were horrified at that admission while other parts relieved that I finally got it.  It really shouldn't have been such a big surprise--because we all know that no one is perfect.  But it was that sudden 'knowing' that took me by surprise.  You know that moment when you really get it--and once you truly know something you can never again unknow it.  Obviously some part of me thought my imperfections were a well kept secret, though I'm sure if you ask my husband or my kids they'd just roll their eyes and snort.

So I sat in gratitude with my imperfect self.  I sat with the shame that came bursting forth from that admission and continued to give thanks for this journey of getting to know myself in deeper ways.  I was really clueless that parts of me were still trying to be perfect--and successfully failing.  Trying to be perfect is just an old survival strategy from childhood that was waiting for an opportunity to be healed.

And like a dam bursting as the seams, the shame, blame and guilt bottled up inside came flooding out in a torrent.  Instead of being met with resistance or denial though, I allowed those feelings to flow up and out in a state of gratitude.  Because, really--who needs to keep those 3 feelings as a constant companion? 

To be honest--today was really uncomfortable for me; not the happy love-fest I experienced at the beginning.  But it was real, it was honest and it quickly passed, because I stayed in gratitude for the experience.

Every journey has its wonders and its trials.  There are days of ease and days of effort.  Yet with each step on this journey I move forward and each day holds something to be grateful for.  That is what I hold on to when gratitude is not so easy to find.

I am grateful for the gift of my imperfections for they remind me to love myself even more and they remind me that we are all just doing the best we can with what we've got.  Embracing my imperfections allows me to let go of who I think I'm suppose to be and appreciate the fullness of who I actually am.

And that, my friends, was worth the 10 minutes of uncomfortable gratitude this morning.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 11

I am so grateful for early mornings!  My husband is still asleep, the house is quiet and it feels like I have the world all to myself.  It's my favorite time of day because every morning I get to choose anew who I am and how I want to live my life.  Every morning is a 'do over' when, no matter what happened the day before, THIS day I get to be grateful for once again.

This morning my time in gratitude was met with a fair amount of fear at first.  Fear that I was expanding and changing too fast.  Like instead of driving my nice, dependable sedan, I had suddenly jumped behind the wheel of an expensive race car and took off at the speed of light.

"Who will you be if you keep going at this pace?  What will become of me?" I heard in my mind.  My inner child was worried that trouble lay ahead, because as a child whenever I spoke up, asked for what I wanted or did anything 'different', trouble ensured for someone.  So early on I learned to keep a low profile, to stay contracted and off the radar.

But here I am now--on everybody's radar!  Stepping up and stepping out in gratitude--and telling people about it.

So I took a deep breath and sat with my inner child and her fears, thanking them for being there, feeling gratitude for their presence.  And there we sat, the 3 of us in a state of gratitude until the fear dissolved and love flowed in.

An old Billy Joel song began drifting through my mind--just parts of it. "Don't go changing to try and please me.  I love you just the way you are."  And I drifted deeper into the meaning of those words.  I don't have to change anything about myself in order to be loved or in order to have what I want in life.  Living in a state of gratitude changes everything without me having to force a change or trying to be perfect, whatever 'perfect' means. 

Transformation is a natural outcome from gratitude and a spirit of thankfulness.  With a deep sigh my body relaxed into a gentle easiness and lightness.

Today is a play date with 2 of my grandkids, ages 7 and almost 4.  We're making pumpkin pies from real pumpkins.  As a child I learned to bake from my grandmother.  She wanted me to know that not everything comes from a can, and that's a tradition I carry on with my own grandkids.  So today we will cut up the pumpkins, bake them and the seeds, then turn them into delicious pies.

Afterwards is our special movie night complete with pizza and root beer floats before being tucked into bed with kisses from their Mimi (that's me!)

My inner child is invited to join the fun.

I am grateful for this day and for my life.  Every day is a gift that I treasure.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 9

My vulnerability is my strength and I am grateful for that realization.

A couple of things I want to talk about today.  For years I've been meditating and all those years I always needed to hold a pillow or cover my solar plexus up in someway.  Couldn't meditate without that.  This morning during my 10 minutes of gratitude I noticed that I was not covering myself up and hadn't for the past couple of days.  That is a huge shift for me.  To be open and vulnerable with no need to protect parts of me.  It became so natural to not put a pillow or blanket in front of me that I didn't notice it for 3 days.  For this new openness I am grateful.

Until yesterday I didn't realize how vulnerable being in gratitude makes you.  In fact I hadn't even thought of myself as being more vulnerable until an experience yesterday with a person who made a few mean-spirited remarks to me for reasons of her own.  My first reaction was to feel hurt and shut down, but that is now such a foreign feeling that I was immediately aware of the shift from open gratitude to fear.

You see to me being vulnerable use to mean being weak, helpless and open for hurt. It meant that I was allowing anyone to come along and behave badly towards me, so no way was I going to be vulnerable! 

My experience with gratitude this morning showed me the true meaning of vulnerability--being fully present in my life, in my body and in the moment.  Fully present with myself and for others.  My vulnerability is my strength, my gift to myself and to others.  For only in the present and in my presence do I allow myself to be known.

Being vulnerable is my strength.  It is what makes me the healer and teacher that I am.  This journey of gratitude has shown me how I have closed myself off in the past and how much more Life and Light I have when I am open, vulnerable and present.

There will certainly be times when I run into people who behave in unkind ways; we are all doing the best we can with what we have and so many people still live from their pain rather than their true nature.  And I accept that people just do what people do and it is never personal really.  There will be those times, but the difference today is that I know and understand that in any moment that I lose my presence, I will remember that I now have a higher value on living from a state of gratitude and can return to being present with a simple decision.

So to the person who was so unkind--I am grateful for your presence in my life and the gift of understanding that I received through your action.  And to my friends that I turned to when I felt misunderstood, I am most grateful for the mirror you always hold up so that I can see my true reflection of who I am as a woman, a friend, a healer, a teacher.

My vulnerability is my strength and for that I am grateful today.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

Gratitude Experiment--Day 5

Resistance--what a great teacher!  It was inevitable this resistance.  The conscious mind doesn't think much of change after all and loves the status quo.  To spend time in the state of gratitude--and gratitude IS a state of being--opens you up to change.  And resistance arises, like an old pair of slippers.

I embraced my resistance and expressed gratitude for it.  'Thank you resistance!  How wonderful to see you again old friend.  I acknowledge and honor you as being part of who I am.  Welcome.'  It seemed insane at first to embrace my resistance because, after all, we resist feeling it don't we?  But what we resist persists.  And so we sat together--my resistance and me.  Just sat in gratitude that I actually had resistance--realizing that resistance has a positive intention, which is to keep my safe.

And in that moment of safety I felt the shift.  How precious is life!  My life, regardless of what I do or don't have, despite the situations I find myself in--my life IS precious.  Your life is precious.  The very act of living is precious.

Last night my husband & I attended a charity gala.  I got all 'gussied up' as my mother called it and Jim wore his tux.  We've always had a great time before at this annual gala, but this year was a very different experience.  The room was noisy & chaotic and several of the people at our table spent the evening drinking and texting rather than talking. 

So we left early and came home.  I quickly shed the fancy clothes and slipped into my favorite pair of flannel pajamas.  Just the man I love and myself--together and grateful. 

That experience last night showed me what I value most--a life of simplicity with people I love and who love me right back.  Being myself in every moment.  Being grateful for all my experiences--whether I like them or not.

So there I sat in my flannel pajamas filled with happy smiling frogs. Nothing to prove, nothing to do, nothing to be--just me in the moment.  Content, happy and grateful for everything.

Enjoying the essence of my life now.

In gratitude,
Bonnie




 

I Claim My Value

It seems as if I have been listening to a lot of clients, and reading a lot of blogs and articles about women not recognizing their value. Just this morning on the news there was a special discussion on how women are still making 67 cents on the dollar that men make.

And part of the reason is that women rarely negotiate a starting salary, and are very uncomfortable asking for a raise. Men don't seem to have those same filters as a whole. According to the discussion group (that was made up of both men and women) the average man doesn't even think about his right to negotiate his value to a company, it is a part of his standard DNA programming. Obviously this is an average, not every man feels his full value, all the time. What is important for us as women, is to know that our standard DNA programming often includes deep questions about our personal value and a deep-seated imperative to compare ourselves with others, often to our detriment.

How are you addressing this in yourself? What are you doing to release those old DNA programs and replace them with new beliefs? How are you creating new DNA with beliefs that make your life new in the sense of stepping out in your courage and your acceptance and belief in your own true value?

Love and blessings, Katie