My Journey of Gratitude - Day 30

I began these 30 days in gratitude as an experiment to see what would happen. It quickly became a journey that took me on a trip beyond what I could have ever imagined. I expected to be changed certainly, but something even more amazing happened that I did not foresee--I was revealed.

In this field of healing that I so dearly love, we talk about changing our minds, changing our lives, changing our beliefs. But what I've come to realize is that, in doing all that, we are not changing ourselves--we are simply revealing who we've always been, Changing your beliefs doesn't change you--it reveals you.

When who you are is revealed and you live from that revealed self, your life begins to reflect that--and we call that change.

It may seem like I'm playing at semantics when you read this, but I can tell you that the experience between changing myself and revealing my true self is very different.

It feels like being covered by so many layers of thick blankets, that my Self is hidden. Then, one by one, each blanket is removed until there is just me--my True Self--jumping up and saying with delight "Here I am!"

I am not changed; I am revealed.

While some of my outer circumstances still remain to be dealt with, I no longer look at them as challenges to be overcome. In this revelation of who I am, I see them as opportunities. Opportunities for growth; opportunities to spread my wings and try new things; opportunities to allow more magic and miracles into my life.

And this is where one leg of my journey ends and a new one begins.  I am called to be open to and explore the magic and miracles that are present when I live in a state of gratitude.

So my Inner Chicken and I have new waves to surf and new adventures to take. Where we end up is beyond my ability to imagine, but I trust that magic and miracles will play a large role in wherever we go.

It is an exciting thought--magic and miracles abound, just waiting for me to recognize, allow and accept them.

Thank you for walking this journey with me. I am grateful for my life, for my new opportunities and for you.

I would love to hear your stories, your questions and your experiences.  Please feel free to comment!

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 19

Gratitude leads to inner peace and that is how I awoke this morning, with this deepest sense of inner peace as my first awareness.  So instead of getting up to do my 10 minutes of gratitude meditation in my usual spot, I allowed myself to shift into gratitude right there, lying in bed all snuggled under the blankets on a dark, cold morning and had a very different experience of gratitude.

Usually it is my mind that guides me through the meditation; my mind that consciously takes me into gratitude.  This time, maybe because I was so relaxed, it was my physical body that took over the reins, guiding me ever deeper into what happens to me physically when I am in a state of gratitude.  An odd experience certainly and I'm not quite sure if I can describe the difference. 

Always before my mind told me what my body was feeling; whether it was about gratitude or anything else, the understanding came through my mind.  This morning, however, the knowing came directly from my body--and I understood it.  Instead of gratitude flowing from my thoughts down into my physical being, it was my body that flowed gratitude to my thoughts.  My body was reflecting back to me its new state of being now--a state of physical being that carried, held and flowed gratitude.  No longer was my body being fed gratitude, it had become the state of gratitude.  Something had shifted within the physical and it all feels different.

Curious now to see what was next, I relaxed into this new experience and allowed it to unfold.  At first I thought my mind was wandering and I'd try to bring it back to the present.  But then I realized that my mind wasn't wandering because my mind was not controlling this experience--my body was.  Old memories would pop up--what use to be very painful memories from childhood.  Instead of the feeling of pain and woundedness that always accompanied these memories, a feeling of warmth--that new state of gratitude I have--flowed through each memory, dissolving it. 

It took a few minutes to realize that the intelligence of my body--and make no mistake our bodies have an intelligence of their own--was using gratitude to heal the pain in my past.  So I lay there, open and allowing this process to unfold as memory after memory was released from my cells and healed.  Past memories and future worries, all healed in the same way--with gratitude.

As a medical intuitive I am use to entering the body and taking a look around, but that is my mind controlling the process.  This experience was entirely different.  I could actually feel my body healing itself and it was doing it consciously, wanting me to know and understand what was happening.  Gratitude has become so much more than a feeling I flow through my body 10 minutes a day.  It is now a state of being that I live in and that my body responds to. 

As the body is a reflection of the mind, I saw a new reflection of myself this morning.  And I am grateful for who I am and who I am becoming.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 18

The more time I spend in this state of gratitude, the more I learn about who I am and who I am becoming and that leads to feeling even more gratitude.  And I continue to fall in love with myself more every day in new ways.  What an incredible Being I really am--amazing how I never saw that before.  Amazing how we forget to remember how amazing we each are.

As I keep my focus on gratitude, I notice subtle shifts within.  Increasingly I am more open to seeing life as a journey and less needing to try to control my outcomes.  What a relief that is!  To begin giving up controlling my life and how it turns out and relax into the moment as it is--priceless.

I already know my eventual destination, so why not be open to the journey itself and enjoying the outcomes rather than fearing them.  That is a huge shift for me.  I've always been a destination kinda gal--focusing more on getting to the finish line and forgetting to notice the cool things along the way. 

Other changes are beginning to show up in my life as well--physical changes.  As I physically relax into this journey of gratitude I am sleeping more.  Never realized how wound up and constricted I had become the past couple of years with trying to do things the 'right' way and control the outcomes. The more I relax, the slower my pace the more I actually accomplish.  Seems counter-intuitive I know--but it's real.

And I am physically detoxing a bit as the energy of gratitude floods my body, flushing out the old 'not enoughness' that was trapped.  A bit uncomfortable certainly, but also refreshing as my body continues to let go of what it no longer needs to hold.

My outlook on life is definitely brighter--this attitude of gratitude is becoming a constant presence in my life.  More and more when an old habitual thought of worry or fear arises, I am flooded with feelings, images and thoughts of all I have to be grateful for.  A new habit of gratitude as my natural state of being is arising.

I find that I'm walking around in love with people and with the world instead of shrinking away from the chaos and pain.  All good and all bad still exist out there.  We do live in a world of polarity, but the difference for me is where I now place my focus.  Gratitude is not only a state of being, it is also a choice.  A choice that I make every moment in my life.  To choose gratitude over fear.  To choose to focus on all that is good in life and allow my experience of life to be simpler, happier.

I no longer feel the need to save the world. Did I really believe that I could? Loving myself and my life one day at a time is enough.  If we each do that, the world won't need saving.

In the meantime, life is meant to be an adventure and we are meant to enjoy the journey--living full out to the best we can.

Cue the Hawaii 5-0 theme song and my Inner Chicken riding the waves of life!

In gratitude,  Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 17

It seems that the more time I spend in gratitude, the less I have to say.  There comes this tipping point where the experience becomes so deep that words cannot capture the essence of what is felt.  And I believe I may have reached that tipping point.

Normally it would take me a few minutes to settle my mind enough so that I could step into the state of gratitude.  Today, however, I gently slipped into it and was feeling it before I was even aware of being there.  That was an interesting experience in itself!

I sat in the new experience of thankfulness, a gentle warmth glowing through me and felt my outer world swirling around me-forming, dissolving and reforming itself over and over again.  It was like sitting safely by a warm fire with a storm raging outside.  My inner self is calm, peaceful and safe while my outer life is changing into something not yet seen.

When I look around my life everything looks the same, but my internal experience is so different that nothing feels the same. Normally that would make me nervous and scrambling for some stability, but instead today I am feeling calm, peaceful and trusting.  There is deep within me a knowing that all is well.

Today I am grateful for what is and curious about what will be.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 16

I want to first thank a good friend of mine for helping me yesterday to clear some of the old stuff that has arisen during this journey of mine.  Whenever you make a shift of any kind your frequency changes and whatever you've been holding that no longer resonates with that new 'you' shakes loose and needs to be released.  That is what healing is all about--letting go of what no longer fits.  So yesterday my friend Sue helped me let go of all that had shaken loose and I feel so much more freedom.  For that I am grateful.

So this morning, feeling more freedom within and without, I sat down to practice my 10 minutes of gratitude.  It was easier to get into that state of gratitude this morning because most of the chatter that I normally have to move through was gone.  A big WooHoo! on that score!

What is left behind is a deeper warmth, like glowing embers after the logs have burned themselves down.  A calm, steady warmth that spread through me, deep into my bones.

Not the high that I've always felt before; you know that mountain top experience we often get. But with every high must come a leveling out because we are not called to live at the top of the mountain all the time--or at least I'm not.  I am called to live amongst people and be of service from within the community, not separate from them.

And so a new sense of gratitude was born within me today.  It feels like I found myself again and, even better, I fell in love with myself all over again.

Today I am grateful for the slow, steady glow of gratitude that warms me and tells me that I am 'home' at last.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 15

Before I begin talking about my experience this morning with gratitude I'd like to answer a couple of questions that I've received from people following my journey.

How do I get started and what do I do once I've started?

I always start my 10 minute mediation by closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths.  Then I begin with my gratitude prayers--thank you for my life, thank you for my ability to breathe, and then I move through gratefulness for my husband, children, grandchildren, friends and opportunities. After that I take another deep breath and quiet my mind and allow myself to feel the gratitude for all those things.  Some days it flows smoothly and other days it's more challenging.

Just like today--I had a few false starts and had to start over again.  It's a journey, not a destination I have to remind myself.  Simply a journey.

OK.  On to my experience this morning. And an interesting one it was as I mark the mid-way point of this 30 day journey.  A bit of a challenge to settle down into gratitude.  My conscious mind was running wild with thoughts of today's 'to do' list and I even found myself worrying about getting my Christmas shopping done.  Lots of resistance for some reason.

At first I tried reining the thoughts in, which of course did not work.  So I allowed them to scurry across my inner vision unhindered, like clouds being blown across the sky by a strong wind.

Then it happened--I felt a sudden, subtle shift and my mind went completely still and time seemed to stop.  All sounds silenced and my outer world ceased to exist.

I sat in this profound silence and felt myself floating in what felt like a primordial soup of everything and nothing.  Of course, the moment I was aware I popped out of it, but then would fall right back into it again.  So there I sate, blinking in and out from what felt like existence to non-existence, from particle to wave to particle again.  Back and forth, in and out, feeling gratitude in both states of being.  But gratitude in a very different way that is difficult to describe.

I've had this experience before when in deep meditation, but this was the first time I blinked back and forth, bringing gratitude with me.

Instead of experiencing the feeling of gratitude, I believe I experienced the knowing of it--the true state of it.  I believe I tapped into that place where all things manifest--the unified field that exists all around us and I felt a presence of something very wonderful.

And for that I am most grateful today.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 14

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."  Abraham Lincoln

That quotes floats through my mind as I begin my time with gratitude.  How happy am I allowing myself to be and what stops me from being happy all the time? Interesting thought to ponder and it opens many doors hidden away in my mind.

As I continue spending time in the state of gratitude I find that all that is not gratitude--all that cannot exist in this energy--is free to roll on up and out of me.  My initial reaction is to stop and ponder each thought and each feeling; wanting to understand and solve.  That's part of our human nature and the function of our conscious mind, that desire to know the 'why' of every situation. 

But asking 'why' will only give you the story surrounding the situation; it will never give you the truth that lies within.  For that you must sit within the middle of it all, giving thanks for whatever is.  As a teacher of mine often says "Understanding is just the booby prize."  Consciously choosing what you want instead of what you currently have--there is the power and the freedom to create change.

To be stand in the middle of your life situation and say "No matter what has happened to me in the past--this is what I choose today.  This is how I choose to live today."  That is true self-empowerment.

Gratitude comes in many forms and some days are easier than others to feel thankful.  Today gratitude showed up as patience and trust.

Patience that saying 'thank you' in the face of doubt is enough, and trust that all is well regardless of what I see happening--or not happening--around me.

So today I am grateful for my doubts, my faith and my journey, bumps and all.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 12

Gratitude was a bit harder to come by this morning.  Lack of patience though showed up in abundance.  That great yummy feeling that I normally slip into, that fullness of the heart, was a no show today.  I stuck with it though because this is, after all, a journey not a destination.  Just because I'm not feeling the gratitude in any given moment doesn't mean that I'm not grateful, just that I'm not in the feeling of it.

I'm imperfect.  Oh no--was that my outdoor voice!?  Parts of me were horrified at that admission while other parts relieved that I finally got it.  It really shouldn't have been such a big surprise--because we all know that no one is perfect.  But it was that sudden 'knowing' that took me by surprise.  You know that moment when you really get it--and once you truly know something you can never again unknow it.  Obviously some part of me thought my imperfections were a well kept secret, though I'm sure if you ask my husband or my kids they'd just roll their eyes and snort.

So I sat in gratitude with my imperfect self.  I sat with the shame that came bursting forth from that admission and continued to give thanks for this journey of getting to know myself in deeper ways.  I was really clueless that parts of me were still trying to be perfect--and successfully failing.  Trying to be perfect is just an old survival strategy from childhood that was waiting for an opportunity to be healed.

And like a dam bursting as the seams, the shame, blame and guilt bottled up inside came flooding out in a torrent.  Instead of being met with resistance or denial though, I allowed those feelings to flow up and out in a state of gratitude.  Because, really--who needs to keep those 3 feelings as a constant companion? 

To be honest--today was really uncomfortable for me; not the happy love-fest I experienced at the beginning.  But it was real, it was honest and it quickly passed, because I stayed in gratitude for the experience.

Every journey has its wonders and its trials.  There are days of ease and days of effort.  Yet with each step on this journey I move forward and each day holds something to be grateful for.  That is what I hold on to when gratitude is not so easy to find.

I am grateful for the gift of my imperfections for they remind me to love myself even more and they remind me that we are all just doing the best we can with what we've got.  Embracing my imperfections allows me to let go of who I think I'm suppose to be and appreciate the fullness of who I actually am.

And that, my friends, was worth the 10 minutes of uncomfortable gratitude this morning.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 6

What started out as an Experiment has now become a Journey.  My experience so far in 6 days of spending 10 minutes a day in Gratitude has taken on a life of its own and I'm now on a Journey of Gratitude, curious to see where this particular journey takes me.

Gratitude shows up in a myriad of forms-words of thankfulness, music that soothes the soul, visions and symbols, dreams, feelings, new rhythms and beats.  There is no one way to be in the state of gratitude--only your way of being there.  That may remain the same for you or, like me, change and move differently day to day.

Some days it is easy to feel the flow of gratitude coursing through my being and other days, not so much.  This morning is one of those 'not so much' days.  At first I was worried that I couldn't feel that 'mountain top' experience of gratefulness and then I spent precious moment trying to make it happen.
"What a stupid experiment I'm doing! I MUST be grateful!  Let me just change that ingratitude to gratitude right now."
 
Then I heard my inner voice tell me 'Relax into this moment and allow it to be whatever it is.'  So I did.  I took a deep breath and made the choice (and ALL change begins with a choice) and let go of my preconceived ideas of what I thought being in gratitude should be and allowed myself to just be in the flow of 'what is.'

That doesn't mean that I'm not grateful.  I am.  I still said my gratitude prayers, thanking & blessing all that I have in my life.  I just wasn't 'feeling' it if you know what I mean. 

Life has an ebb and a flow--like the tide.  So I sat and focused on the ebb and flow of my breathing.  In and out.  Breathing in and bringing in.  Breathing out and letting go.  In and out.

Meister Eckhart said "If all you ever say in your whole life is 'thank you' that will suffice.' 

So for today I just said 'thank you that I am alive' and I trust that is enough.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

Gratitude Experiment--Day 5

Resistance--what a great teacher!  It was inevitable this resistance.  The conscious mind doesn't think much of change after all and loves the status quo.  To spend time in the state of gratitude--and gratitude IS a state of being--opens you up to change.  And resistance arises, like an old pair of slippers.

I embraced my resistance and expressed gratitude for it.  'Thank you resistance!  How wonderful to see you again old friend.  I acknowledge and honor you as being part of who I am.  Welcome.'  It seemed insane at first to embrace my resistance because, after all, we resist feeling it don't we?  But what we resist persists.  And so we sat together--my resistance and me.  Just sat in gratitude that I actually had resistance--realizing that resistance has a positive intention, which is to keep my safe.

And in that moment of safety I felt the shift.  How precious is life!  My life, regardless of what I do or don't have, despite the situations I find myself in--my life IS precious.  Your life is precious.  The very act of living is precious.

Last night my husband & I attended a charity gala.  I got all 'gussied up' as my mother called it and Jim wore his tux.  We've always had a great time before at this annual gala, but this year was a very different experience.  The room was noisy & chaotic and several of the people at our table spent the evening drinking and texting rather than talking. 

So we left early and came home.  I quickly shed the fancy clothes and slipped into my favorite pair of flannel pajamas.  Just the man I love and myself--together and grateful. 

That experience last night showed me what I value most--a life of simplicity with people I love and who love me right back.  Being myself in every moment.  Being grateful for all my experiences--whether I like them or not.

So there I sat in my flannel pajamas filled with happy smiling frogs. Nothing to prove, nothing to do, nothing to be--just me in the moment.  Content, happy and grateful for everything.

Enjoying the essence of my life now.

In gratitude,
Bonnie




 

Gratitude Experiment--Day 4

Here's what I experienced from my 10 minutes in gratitude this morning.

Being grateful for your life in this moment, no matter what your current circumstances, does not mean that you are content or ok with where you are.  By saying thank you for what is now is not the same as being satisfied for what is.  You are not saying "I'm grateful for this debt.  I'm grateful for this illness."  Or whatever is happening in your life now.  That is a common misunderstanding--or fear we often have about saying thank you for what is.

By saying thank you for the money that I DO have expands you beyond the fear of not enough.  Thank you for the love I DO have in my life opens you to even more.

Everything is energy.  What you think, feel and do is energy.  And energy either expands or contracts. Gratitude is an expansive energy and when you take the time to be grateful for even one thing in your life--your energy expands and flows in ways you may not notice.  But it does.

Gratitude is more than a feeling.  It is a state of being.  The more time you spend in this state of being, the more it becomes part of your true nature.
Gratitude is the energy of 'even more'.  And you can certainly add that in your thank yous.

Thank you for the business I DO have.  I am so grateful.  And I open to having even more.  Thank you.

We Stand Sister to Sister in Our Divinity

A beautiful video that speaks to the Brave Woman message. We are all One.  We are all Divine.  We are all Love.  We can all stand sister to sister-shoulder to shoulder in our Greatness.

The Freedom of Gratitude--the 30 day experiment

Gratitude is a powerful tool for change and it is available to you in every moment of your life.


Last night I spoke to about 40 women at a networking group. My topic was the Attitude of Gratitude. Katie & I are teaching a teleseminar this month on the Freedom of Gratitude. It seems that the topic of Gratitude is in the air this month—and much needed at this time too.

Yesterday morning while preparing for my talk, I was guided to spend minutes sitting in gratitude. No asking for anything, no writing in a journal, no ‘doing’. Just 10 minutes of being grateful for what I already have. What an experience!

Now 90% of my life is amazing and running smoothly. That leaves 10% just not where I want to be. What I didn't realize until I sat in gratitude for 10 minutes that the past several months I was so focused on the 10% that wasn't working that I forgot about being thankful for the 90% that IS wonderful! Worry & fear wil do that to you--make you forget everything but the loss, the disappointment, the lack!

Within just a few minutes I felt such incredible warmth spread through my body & my heart opening in ways it never did before. As I became aware of my old negative thinking, it began shifting and changing—remember no ‘doing’ just ‘being’.

Suddenly I was shown every situation, time, event in my life where I had ALWAYS gotten what I needed and asked for. I mean EVERY time. I also realized that the limitations and trials that came with each opportunity were of my own making.

Even when I was receiving everything that I asked for—my negativity was limiting my experience. Everything showed up according to what I expected and what I allowed.

Wow! Talk about a total shift in consciousness and emotional healing! I view my past completely differently now. My whole life has opened up in new ways---just using the power of gratitude.

SO—I have committed to spending 10 minutes in gratitude for the next 30 days. I’m doing this because the past 2 days have opened me to so much more than I imagined existed.

The experiment is simple—10 minutes a day sitting in gratitude. Doing nothing—no journaling, no commanding—just being present to the presence of gratefulness in your life. That’s it. 10 minutes a day for 30 days. Come join me!

Every day I will share with you my experiences from my 10 minutes of gratitude. Ii'm excited to discover what lies on the other side of 30 days!

In gratitude,

Bonnie

Pushing the River - or Not!

 How many times have your caught yourself trying to make things work rather than allowing them to work in your own divine order. After you read this, we would love to hear your responses - thank you, Katie and Bonnie

Resistance is Futile! What we resist persists! Whatever we remember to say to ourselves can make all the difference. I think we can all see when we review our own lives, that those times where we tried to push the river, resist change, or make things work out exactly as we wanted - were not our best or most productive times. At least I can speak for myself, the times when I was 'efforting' to make things work the way I thought they 'should', I often missed terrific opportunities that were right there waiting for me. And when I relaxed into my life and paid attention to what was coming my way, life was much more agreeable. 

Katie

There is a huge difference in results between trying and allowing. Trying is what we have been taught in our culture is the right thing to do. Try and try again. What if allowing actually gave us the outcomes we were seeking--without all the spinning of the wheels, worry and beating our heads against the wall?

Something as simple as allowing is a concept many of us have trouble with because it seems like we aren't 'doing' anything.

Trying is the energy of searching but never finding. It is the realm of the conscious mind and contributes to stress, unhappiness, even ill health. As long as you focus your efforts on trying, you prevent yourself from having.

Allowing, on the other hand, is the realm of Source mind, our greater capacity. It is the energy of having, of achieving, of succeeding. It is not a passive state--but actually quite active. When you are in allowing, you are open to receive inspiration and inspired action.

Very different attitudes, different outcomes and different energies used.
Plus allowing is just more fun once you get the hang of it! 

Bonnie