My Journey of Gratitude - Day 15

Before I begin talking about my experience this morning with gratitude I'd like to answer a couple of questions that I've received from people following my journey.

How do I get started and what do I do once I've started?

I always start my 10 minute mediation by closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths.  Then I begin with my gratitude prayers--thank you for my life, thank you for my ability to breathe, and then I move through gratefulness for my husband, children, grandchildren, friends and opportunities. After that I take another deep breath and quiet my mind and allow myself to feel the gratitude for all those things.  Some days it flows smoothly and other days it's more challenging.

Just like today--I had a few false starts and had to start over again.  It's a journey, not a destination I have to remind myself.  Simply a journey.

OK.  On to my experience this morning. And an interesting one it was as I mark the mid-way point of this 30 day journey.  A bit of a challenge to settle down into gratitude.  My conscious mind was running wild with thoughts of today's 'to do' list and I even found myself worrying about getting my Christmas shopping done.  Lots of resistance for some reason.

At first I tried reining the thoughts in, which of course did not work.  So I allowed them to scurry across my inner vision unhindered, like clouds being blown across the sky by a strong wind.

Then it happened--I felt a sudden, subtle shift and my mind went completely still and time seemed to stop.  All sounds silenced and my outer world ceased to exist.

I sat in this profound silence and felt myself floating in what felt like a primordial soup of everything and nothing.  Of course, the moment I was aware I popped out of it, but then would fall right back into it again.  So there I sate, blinking in and out from what felt like existence to non-existence, from particle to wave to particle again.  Back and forth, in and out, feeling gratitude in both states of being.  But gratitude in a very different way that is difficult to describe.

I've had this experience before when in deep meditation, but this was the first time I blinked back and forth, bringing gratitude with me.

Instead of experiencing the feeling of gratitude, I believe I experienced the knowing of it--the true state of it.  I believe I tapped into that place where all things manifest--the unified field that exists all around us and I felt a presence of something very wonderful.

And for that I am most grateful today.

In gratitude,

Bonnie